times when wild

There were times when i was wilful... rebellious... cos i dun c eye with my mum.. She is a plain traditional woman who plays favouritism over her son. that y im always at odds with her... i hate to even think abt that... how unfair... how her ears are so soft toward my brother.
He is a spoilt brat, veri selfish.. proud, boastful n uncaring always taking more he wants.. i become self centred also... cos i dun wan to lose out. I always get out of this family, not to listen to my brother's lies... I turned deaf to my mother's orders n views...
I started hang out late, drown in drinking n loud music... i loved that freedom... no nagging.. Everything is fun , frnds are great.. always with me, accompany me. I wish to be FREE but at the same time I WANT TO BE LOVED, WANTED. I started to get into relationships... they are not easy, bad. They dun last. I was too proud, refuse to give in relationships... shield my heart from being hurt, i just want to take n take.
Basically, I dun reali hate her my mum, i pity her...she is an unhappy woman... her views are veri depressing.... always complains... n mourns... sighs... i hate it when ppl comment how much i look like her.
I JUST DUN WANT TO BE LIKE HER.

July - New Term

In May - had my entry tests...been so long to have the exam feelings again.. pray veri hard in June for me to pass (cos I will be granted a direct entry to the course if I pass.)
Hey, that is my wish for the yr 2005 cos if I able to shorten my course, my fees will be lessen.. of cos provided I cleared all subjects smoothly all the way. That is nt a small sum abt 6k lesser... who dun want. (already I have trouble in keeping up my fees: money problems). I barely scrape enough for my first payment.

wow... Here come my chance to go hoilday to Bangkok... With cheap airfares...Im able to travel.. Everything first time for me..quite an experience... An eye-opener..hehahah..
All I can say about budget airline is reali no frills-type. Service is ok, value for money..(nt for fussy types.) No food is served, doesnt reali matter since it is a short trip abt 2hrs, fine with me. I jt went to sleep n recuperate my energy for shopping later..hehhe.. Leg space is pretty cramped though even for me a short person(luckily it is a short trip) n abit slow in taking off... Overall, It is smooth n pleasant.

April 2005

This will be my impt mth of this yr 2005.
I had decided alot of things..(been thinking alot). My boss jt give birth to baby ger, then there goes my collegue...seem lately alot of ppl in my company is having a baby soon. N that meant I no longer can hunt for new jobs any sooner cos i will be covering their job scopes...will be veri busy plus ot... Had to shelf this idea for later in this yr or maybe next yr 2006.
So I decide to further study instead since I cant go anyway... (using my dipolma cert to apply for a course, I onli got five years to think abt.. why nt do it now? cos maybe if drags any longer, I may lose interest or my brain will be "dormant")
My decision is to study in hope to earn mre money next time when i finish my course...

u may think hey what so difficult...

I tell u wat, Cos study is not really my strength, plus I dun have any saving which means I need to work n study part time. Tat is hard life. n I may decide down to settle with this one... not easy at first... cos he certainly not into my type; Im quiet whereas he is much sociable (he also nt my dream "kind" also in gers' dream, guys r nt that realist... hehhaha). BUt along the way, I learn to accept n give more in relationship...some ups n downs.. of cos it wasnt veri prefect... it sometime did give me depressions n disappointments. Ppl are nt prefect, so do yr other half. This is a new thing to us, n for us to learn.. turns out nt bad.. at all.. nt difficult but do prepared some hurt... dun put high expectations n Dun take for granted...
IT HELPS!!!!!
Reali!!!! Trust me...

New year 2005

A yr had come n pass, hey I still facing the same problems...whether to change jobs? further my studies? had been bombarding my mind since the yr2005 is coming. I know I had to come to a decision like this n really act upon it...

HEY hey , one thing been nagging at me is my age... ya ...im 25 this yr, hey hate to admit it...sian.... not that I want to act cute or young... but come on, I had jt passed my birthday nt long. My precious day jt come in nov... n somemore is late one. Ppl alway say to me... admit it, man. (my age) Be graceful... But yucks!!! how can I???!!!! Things is unfair, there I jt enjoying my VIP day nt long a mth plus then it comes NEW YEAR... hi that's NT MY FAULT leh...
I jt cant could say out of my mouth; "Im 25 this yr." I rather say Im 24+, pls forgive me leh. Im not like others who had their birthday early to console... my poor heart jt could NOT take it n believe.
I guess this is the problem faced by all the late bloomers... or is it jt me???
Whatever, I also dun look old...at not my actual age :P
So pls dun correct me, whenever i add a + to my age next time.

How's r u?

Hi...
so long never seen...sigh...been a veri long time..
Not long I saw a blogger...tat passed by my head..hey, I also got one leh..???!!!
need to update, now I m goin back back to the past events I had been through...way back I left you...
hehha..old almas stories..u must be thinking but it's true.
In fact, on the Sept on that year 2004, I had go steady with my new guy..(my senior in sch? but I didnt see him in campus..we get to know at outside)
got one of my wisdom tooth taken out (my dentist advise to be taken out cos mine had grown the wrong way? whatever) been thinking of getting braces...
but see how lor...nt cheap. maybe shelf it for later.
n YA!! .. finally pass my driving (sigh...after 4 tests!!) to get my license. Ya...I know Im lousy...sucks in my practical... yucks... even my instructor looks down on me. At that time days were veri dragging n tiring... I waste a bomb(abt 2k) n alot of time (all my wkends gone).
After I get it, I told myself never never ever touch that wheel again!! hate that...it had became a fear, no shred of confidence in it, Im lost(totally defeated) towards it.
Sometimes ppl will ask me, if I will change my mind or regret, I havent thought of it.. things seem to be alot easier ever since it is out of my life, anyway whether what I want to do with my license is my business, I will know if there's really a worth. After all, I pay for myself for that.. no one help... so y shld I answer that question?
okok i jt recently dated.
He... mmm... quite handsome...ah adorable much a closer term to him... cute yes... with the eyes i love to see.. People had mention "eyes are the windows of soul" which I accept it heartily. i love to look into the eyes of my parnter.. kinds of cute. he got a pair of big eyes yup... double eyelids yes nice... single eyelids is cool to me too hehhahah.
oh yes the final part, his eyes are brown if u look carefully. this ponder a thought how come his eyes are brown when he had no mix in his ancestors maybe prephas in very early generations. (im quite biased toward that... dunno know y...cute i think.. soft brown) i check out my eyes colour twice in mirror, it's black not a trace of brown, neither even a hint of that! I have dated a guy with coloured contacts...weird... kinda of scared me off... (i think the colour is grey or some other color) it make him look fierce although i know he is a friendly guy. i try not to look at him straight in face when he try to kiss me... i kind of back off...scared. NOnono to coloured contacts pls...